Reviews For Writers by redick.

Most reviews are for readers.
These are For Writers looking for commentary on technique.

Lauren Yero's Under This Forgetful Sky [Book]

I saw the title and snatched it up with hesitation.

Had I looked at the cover art, I would have passed on it thinking it
was a mushy love story.  The art doesn't fit and misleads.

It kinda is a love story but not mushy soapy.  It's a complicated love
story for the characters.  They're from completely different backgrounds
and ideologies.

Yero does a wonderful job of making this a tense relationship.  The
personalities conflict throughout.  This isn't a will-they-or-won't-they
but more of what's-going-to-happen-next.  You don't really notice
they're falling in love.

The story progresses by alternating between the characters.  Each First Person.
Each with a delightful voice.  Paz (girl) has more bitting gritty tone
and complex sentence structure. Rumi (boy) more simplistic and laid back tone.

There is no overlapping in time, it's a complete gear shift so the reader
doesn't get bored.  Sometimes overlapping and seeing things again from
a different point-of-view works.  It was unnecessary in this case.

It's a "young" adult but there are no punches pulled and the themes are adult.
Life, love, death.  This isn't a "coming of age" story.  It's a
"you're young but you're in the shit so grow up" story.
  
Fellows in the genre would be: Hunger Games, Divergent, The Maze Runner.
Maybe Ender's Game and Lord of the Flies

Set in a post-apocalyptic future, somewhere.

It turns out to be Chile but I had no clue where until the author's notes,
which came at the end.  I think a short author's notes in the beginning
is better.  The story behind the story, the impetus, can go at the end.

A blurb that frames up the story can go up front.  I think The King in Yellow's
intro is a good example of how to do this.

The Spanish was a problem for me.  I think the French in The Bone Hacker
is a better way to do it.  Have the translation be presented inline or
via response of characters.  Just a minor point it wasn't too bad.

One can have the same argument of A Clockwork Orange vs Dune on slang and
lexicon.  I had to watch the movie to figure out what Burgess was talking
about. I breezed through Dune.

Returning to setting.

There is remarkably little description on the environment.  Brilliantly done.
Just a brief note of rumble or ruins.  Everything was the character's thoughts,
feelings and dialog.  Great way to focus on the character instead of the place.

Besides I built the whole world in my head.  It was desert and flat, which Chile ain't.
It is a move that works.  Let the reader do the work and don't push imagery
into their head.
		

Reviews For Writers by redick (David A. Redick) on Lauren Yero's - Under This Forgetful Sky (Book) I loved the title. This is billed as post-apocalyptic young adult.